literature

White Wolf (Why?)

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Walking through the snow as I hear it crunch beneath my feet, a strange feeling washes over me.

The air, thick with the white, bitter cold flakes, causing a haze around me, seemed to become more menacing. A wary feeling in my gut warned me something else was there.

An instinct rose inside me like an pack of wolves, wild, vicious, an untamed force to be reckoned with. It howled within the depths of my soul, shaking me to the core, warning me of approaching danger.

I look around, the feeling of being alone seeping deep into my skin, the seemingly endless of the white slamming against the force of the darkened forest. My eyes scan, searching for a wild canine, as my heart is yearning for me to just turn and run.

Nothing.

No.

Disappointment?

A flash in my mind reveals a pure white wolf standing between the trees. Disappointment fills me that it's not there. But why? Wolves don't live this close to town. Coyotes, yes, but they wouldn't be out right now, would they?

The dreaded feeling of watching only thickens, regardless, forcing me to hurry inside.

Relief. But why?

The wild, free feeling within me disappears as quickly as it had arrived. But WHY had it arrived in the first place?

I'd never felt something shake me so hard to the core. It was so..wild and free. It was all powerful and consuming, it's howl echoing throughout the deepest reaches of my heart and soul, telling me to follow and run all at once.

I've never experienced something so raw and instinctual. It was overpowering, and stunning, yet it was so calm and peaceful at the same time.

So, I sit here, dazed and confused as to what I felt. I'm speechless, at how to explain this core feeling that ripped through me. And why...why of all things, did I feel as if it were a wolf in my presence? Why did I feel SAFE at the thought of a wolf, and fear at the fact it wasn't seen?

I was all alone, just looking at the snow for who was looking at me, so why did a wolf come to mind at all? And why, when writing this, can I describe it in any other way than by relating it to said canine?

I don't know what happened today. Part of me prays it never happens again. But part of me...part of me clings to it. Urges for whatever rushed over me to return. And I'm just left here wandering...why?
This isn't made up, or exaggerated, or anything. Today, while shoveling snow outside the apartment on the sidewalk, this...bizzare feeling washed over me. I can't explain it for the life of me. It was as if....as if the vehicles, the apartment, and the shovel didn't exist, if that makes sense? I felt closed in by the railing and the cars around me. I felt backed into a corner, but whatever I felt there, while powerful, wasn't threatening. Yet it still invoked fear, if that's understandable. I had this image in my head of a beautiful white wolf. I don't know why, though. If I thought a canine was around, I would've looked for a coyote, which have come to the apartments before (but only in the dead of night, and it was just curious). Why...why did I expect to see a wolf? I can't understand what happened to me...maybe one of you have an idea of what went on?
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